Welcome to Festivus 2018! Held in 2019! But partying like it's 2018!
There are 4 very important elements to Festivus:
1) A Festivus pole
2) Airing of Grievances
3) Feats of Strength
4) Festivus Miracles
The first component of a good Festivus is, of course, the Festivus Pole pictured below. Your social coordinator is on it.
The second is the traditional Airing of Grievances. We would never assume to engage in Festivus, uh, festivities without this component but management is going to suggest you save it for 8:01 as we will be hightailing it to our car by then. We'd also like to inform you that even more than humans love to hear stream of consciousness complaining, parking lot trees love it even more so may we suggest you save all of yours for a nice tree outside that has been eagerly awaiting this experience all year?
The third component is Feats of Strength. Details of this portion are to be announced later as it will depend on how many monster truck tires and bartenders to bench press that I can procure.
The fourth and most important of all the components are Festivus Miracles which is the labeling of easily explainable events. For example, if a beer appears before you (after you order one) you are to declare loud and proud, "It's a Festivus Miracle!"
If this sounds like something you can dive into whole heartedly like a public pool that hasn't been sullied in the excrements of hordes of strangers, then I invite you to join us:
DATE: January 5, 2019
*Don't forget to bring any donations for Groundswell with you!